People will say you are “too light” if they are not comfortable with the light.
People will say you are “too dark” if they are not comfortable with the dark.
They will say you’re egotistical if they are not comfortable with owning their own power.
They will say you are too spiritual if they are not comfortable with Spirit.
See the pattern here? People are going to say what they will in accordance with their perception. Everyone will have to choose what they value more: the perception of another, or honoring their own self-expression.
We judge others because we judge ourselves, because we were judged by others who were judged themselves… and round it goes.
Many times we unconsciously seek consent from someone else to allow us to grow. What we are innocently seeking is a mirror in the external world to validate what is taking place in our internal world. This isn’t so horrible once it’s demystified. We want permission.
Connection is necessary but it doesn’t have to come at a cost. The underlying fear is that if we lose the approval of those that we rely on for connection, we will be all alone. While this fear is not unwarranted, in reality, we are only denying ourselves our own totality by allowing our expression to be limited by the judgments of others.
Connection is a core need for humans and connection plays a part in why we seek permission. Humans are interdependent, it’s natural for us to want and seek support. Supporting one another is how we will thrive as a collective moving forward. The difference between wanting support and wanting permission, however, is that with permission we are asking someone to give us the green light to do or be whatever it is we believe we need permission for.
It doesn’t help to look at asking for permission as negative, neither is it inherently good or bad. It is just something that helps us until it begins to hinder us. Up to a certain point we can’t continue our growth through someone else’s authority, so we are going to get placed in circumstances where we are denied permission all so that we can become aware that we were asking for permission.
People can spend their entire life unfulfilled by the course of their life choices because of fears relative to accessing their own power. This doesn’t mean we have to compensate for our insecurities by fully immersing ourselves into the ego, it just means we stop avoiding judgment and become conscious of where we placed limitations on ourselves.
Judgment will breed judgment until we intervene with forgiveness. Forgive yourself for needing permission. We humans are innately unique in many ways but some themes are downright universally, underwhelming trite, and this is one of them so don’t give yourself a hard time about it. This world was taught to relate to one another through judgment, fear of shame and lack of depth. We are on the verge of learning a new way of being and that starts with each of us beginning to embrace ourselves in the places that we judged ourselves.
If we really want to be insightful, we could turn inward and see why we choose the people that we do to give us consent in the first place. Ultimately we are giving others the power to give us permission. So why not ask ourselves why we are giving them that power to begin with? Our reasons don’t need to be made out as monsters and demonized but only better understood and empathized with. Whenever we engage our innocence in inquiry, it should always be done with love.
This is the highest form of self-respect we could gift ourselves with because we are reclaiming our power by giving ourselves our unconditional presence without the need to hold others or ourselves in contempt.
When we liberate ourselves we are liberating others through our example.